Finally!

Finally after 3 days of sleepless nights, he is sleeping! Yes! I am NOT waking him up either. Not unless it looks like he will sleep too late to go to sleep again tonight. He did toss and turn a bit, had a couple of tremors, did the twitching, but then, he finally drifted off to deep sleep. Still, silent, wonderful, blissful sleep for me too! I actually slept! YAY! lol you don't realize how much sleep you miss sometimes until you get it. RSD is horrible for him to deal with but also for me.

So lets do a little update. His toes. Previously he has been fighting infection off and on the last few weeks with his big toe and the toe next to it. The podiatrist, who just happened to have experience with RSD (thank god) does not believe that he can handle injections to take care of the toenails that are ingrown due to the cam boot he has to wear to protect his foot. He feels the only way to deal with them is to do an epidural. Well he talked to the anesthesiologist and found out that he doesnt do epidurals so he now thinks it would be best to just put him under general anesthesia and take care of the nails. Its his thought that by putting him under, he will has less pain in general from it and hopefully keep him from having a flare up of the RSD.

Now, that's sort of a secondary thing because his pain management doctors are gearing up for his implant. We don't have a date for it yet but we are hoping that we will get one at his next doctor appointment.... that lil bugger set the alarm clock and just got out of bed lol So anyway, I will post when he is going to have the trial implant done and then will be updating daily so you can see what progress he is making.

I'm going to make a list of things that RSD has changed in our lives. I know that RSD and CRPS patients and families know, but I'm curious as to just how many things it has changed for us. Well, since he is awake Im going to jump off of here.

We hope you all have a pain free day!

Its been a while...

So much has happened since I last posted but now that things are beginning to settle down I thought I would give and update and soon will be back in the swing of things. My mother had a stroke about 4 weeks ago now and after reluctantly leaving Dennis at home on his own I flew to Texas to be with my mother. She is at home now and doing much better so I am also back at home. Dennis had family members who took him shopping and checked in on him, cooked some meals for him and made sure he was doing ok.

Well, to update on his health. The infection in his toe came back. So his doctor has refered him to a podiatrist to have something done with the nail so the infection will clear up. Also, his pain management had been concerned about his heart rate and blood pressure. His blood pressure has been riding on the high side of normal and after the 2 hour drive in severe pain for him for his visits his blood pressure would be in the high zone. So they decided that they would need to wait until he was on medication for his blood pressure, but more for his heart rate which is always above 100 and normally around 110. We saw his family doctor about it and she prescribed him a medication to lower his heart rate and his blood pressure. Once this is under control he can have the trial implant. Of course we are still waiting on approval from insurance for the implant, they like to take their time.

His doctor also added a second antidepressant, Celexa. They are hoping it will help him some along with the other one he is taking. He has had RSD about 2 1/2 yrs now and although he has done a good job keeping his spirits up its starting to get to him. Yes he has had times int he past he has said things to me about feeling like he isnt a whole man or how he feels like he has failed at being a good husband because he can't provide for me. But lately I have watched him get more and more depressed. I try to keep him busy mentally but the medications he is on have him forgetting things, they have him falling asleep, he is getting more and more frustrated waiting on the implant because although he knows it might not work at all, to him its hope for a more pain free life that he so desperately wants. Its hard to hear him tell me that he has forgotten what it was like to walk.

Anyway, tomorrow is his appointment with the podiatrist about his toe, Ill try to update tomorrow night about how he is doing and what they did. We wish everyone a pain free and happy day!

Busy busy busy!

I have been pretty busy around here the last couple of days. Dennis is still having a pretty hard time. His toe is still very red, swollen and infected but I think it might be looking a little bit better now. I have to get him a soak here in a few minutes. I had to run all over today trying to get the plates on the car changed and my drivers license changed today. Then I ran to the store and picked up the last few things I need to make Thanksgiving dinner. I wasn't sure if I would make it this year seeing as the RSD takes such a toll on him and we aren't going to be with all the family this year.

Oh I mentioned the other day that he had kept me awake with jerking, twitching and tremors with moaning. That went on for 3 days and then I had 2 choices. I could either take something to make me sleep through it or I could sleep on the couch. I hate sleeping on the couch so I took something to help me sleep. I feel so bad for him. I know he hurts all the time and I cant do anything for him. My heart goes out to anyone who has this horrible condition.

Alright, I'm going to get into my pj's and settle onto the couch and spend some time with him since he is feeling up to it. Take care and have another pain free day!

Another sleepless night

I am so tired right now. Last night Dennis kept having tremors, jerks and twitches. Then he would moan, roll over, moan... When I know he is in pain I just can't sleep. It's like I keep myself awake in case he needs me so I never really drift off, if that makes sense. I feel so horrible for him. So helpless.

Last night he told me that he was really glad he and I are still together. I asked him what he meant and he told me that he thought I would have left him by now because he can't be the man I married. That made me want to cry that he feels disappointed in himself like that. I told him that I married him for better or worse, that I love him unconditionally. That in 2003 when I had cancer and lost the ability to have children, became extremely depressed and had no idea if I would even survive all of it and he stood right there by my side. But this makes me aware of how vulnerable he really is. That he has fears I would possibly leave him due to this disease. RSD has really changed our lives.

So here I am, in the living room, I have him in direct line of sight and can hear him if he needs me. I thought maybe he could sleep better if I got out of bed. The alarm will go off in a little over an hour now. If we didn't set the alarm and force him to wake up, he says he would sleep forever. I have seen him sleep 18 hours at a time. All the heavy medications he takes all of the time, he can't keep his eyes open sometimes. He is also starting to have depression. Although he is on Cymbalta now which has helped some I think, some days he is a bit grouchy, some days I can tell he is simply down in the dumps. I wish there was something... anything I could do to help him get out of pain.

I think it's time to watch some television and take my mind off all of this. Take care everyone, keep up the hope!

Infection!!

Well Dennis has an ingrown toenail on the foot he has RSD in. He is in so much pain he doesn't even want to get out of bed. I forced him to go to the ER Room today, he has a much stronger antibiotic now.

The ER doctor... this man was... I wanted to slap him to say the least. When he walked in I told him that he has RSD and the doctor grabbed his foot anyway and twisted it around which made him yell in pain. Then the doctor says "I'm going to fix it by removing the entire toenail". WHAT?! I haven't heard of them removing the entire nail for an ingrown toenail before. I have heard of them removing some of the nail to dig out the ingrown portion. In the end we declined to have this done.

All I could think of was if doing this would make the RSD move to a new area or make it worse in his foot or what. I'm always so scared for him now. When the doctor said "remove the entire nail", Dennis looked at me and the doctor asked "what are you looking at her for?" and I told him "he is looking at me because no one touches him without consulting me and without me believing this is the right thing to do".

I am on top of his medical care. I want to have him with me for many more years to come. If a doctor doesn't like me being involved, well that's just tough for them because that is MY husband. I'm not going to let a doctor treat him in any bad way either.

Anyway, its very late and I think I'm going to head to bed :) Take care and have pain free days!