Its been a while...

So much has happened since I last posted but now that things are beginning to settle down I thought I would give and update and soon will be back in the swing of things. My mother had a stroke about 4 weeks ago now and after reluctantly leaving Dennis at home on his own I flew to Texas to be with my mother. She is at home now and doing much better so I am also back at home. Dennis had family members who took him shopping and checked in on him, cooked some meals for him and made sure he was doing ok.

Well, to update on his health. The infection in his toe came back. So his doctor has refered him to a podiatrist to have something done with the nail so the infection will clear up. Also, his pain management had been concerned about his heart rate and blood pressure. His blood pressure has been riding on the high side of normal and after the 2 hour drive in severe pain for him for his visits his blood pressure would be in the high zone. So they decided that they would need to wait until he was on medication for his blood pressure, but more for his heart rate which is always above 100 and normally around 110. We saw his family doctor about it and she prescribed him a medication to lower his heart rate and his blood pressure. Once this is under control he can have the trial implant. Of course we are still waiting on approval from insurance for the implant, they like to take their time.

His doctor also added a second antidepressant, Celexa. They are hoping it will help him some along with the other one he is taking. He has had RSD about 2 1/2 yrs now and although he has done a good job keeping his spirits up its starting to get to him. Yes he has had times int he past he has said things to me about feeling like he isnt a whole man or how he feels like he has failed at being a good husband because he can't provide for me. But lately I have watched him get more and more depressed. I try to keep him busy mentally but the medications he is on have him forgetting things, they have him falling asleep, he is getting more and more frustrated waiting on the implant because although he knows it might not work at all, to him its hope for a more pain free life that he so desperately wants. Its hard to hear him tell me that he has forgotten what it was like to walk.

Anyway, tomorrow is his appointment with the podiatrist about his toe, Ill try to update tomorrow night about how he is doing and what they did. We wish everyone a pain free and happy day!

Happy Holidays!

We are both relieved to have made it through Christmas without too many bumps. We were so lucky to have had some of our family visit. His sister Tonie, her 5 kids and their mom and dad came the day after Christmas. We had  a lot of fun, played games, talked and laughed a lot. I think everytime I tried taking a picture someone was stuffing their face with food *grin*  We played Mad Gab. I got it for Christmas and I have to say, Im really very bad at it lol I did however guess one eventually.

Michelyn played the piano and talked to her "boyfriend" Seth *giggle* She couldnt go 5 minutes without texting him. Here is a picture of Seth... He's the one in Michelyn's hands...

We had a suprise guest too! His grandfather was able to come and visit as well. We were so lucky! So we actually had 5 generations in one house! Not a lot of people can say they have done that. Right to left is David our son in law, Dennis, Michael, and Dennis Sr, his dad, then his grandfather and Devon our grandson.

We had his daughter Camie here with her husband David and their son, yes, our grandson! Devon is such a cutie and we love him to death.

Michael brought his fiance Tara. It was the first time we had really had a chance to be around her. Unsure at first what we were getting into, it turned out alright. She warmed up during the day and I have to say she is a nice young lady. She can be very playful and has a good sense of humor. It was nice getting to know her some.

Lexi did some singing and she is growing so fast. She is Tonie's youngest and 10 yrs old and cute as a button.

We went to see the Christmas light show just outside of town and Dennis had a blast with Devon. He's really enjoying being a grandpa!

So we found ourselves surrounded by family and love this year. I missed my parents dearly as they are in the south. I know they were here in their hearts though. I was just as thrilled this year as anyone else, I had everything I wanted. Someone that is close to my heart was here this year who hadn't been in some time. Camie, who has become so special to me, she is a wonderful woman and I love her so very much. Yes, we are very lucky indeed!

Sorry its been so long

I know it has been a while since the last post and I give my sincere apologies. So much has been going on lately, life has been crazy.

First off let me say that I am so glad I did not allow the er room doctor remove his toenail for that infected toe. The antibiotics have cleared it up totaly and he is able on hsi own to try to get the ingrown part out. His toe looks good again.

He has been having pain control issues. I think I mentioned before they took him off the one morphine to put him on oxycondin so now he takes morphine twice a day and oxycondin 4 times a day. He was having problems urinating and thats why the change came about. The change in medication has helped his urination problems but the oxycondin does not control the pain like the morphine did. So his doctor upped the dosage of the oxycondin to twice the amount he was taking. That has helped him some but he still isnt sleeping well, he's keeping me awake because he is in pain and on more than one occasion I have woke up in the middle of the night to hear him crying in his sleep or due to his tossing and turning because he just can't get comfortable. The days seem to keep getting longer and longer for him. I feel so useless because I can't help him...

He has been having problems with his memory. It started back when he injured himself with all the medications but it has been getting progressively worse in the last few weeks. He told me the other night that it scares him because some of the things he can't remember are things that he has known his whole life and shouldn't be a problem for him to remember. I have been looking for some memory exercises online to maybe help that aspect but I haven't found anything fitting. If anyone knows of a site that is good for memory building please let us know.

Alright, on to other things. We made it through Thanksgiving. I really outdid myself this year on dinner and I have to say I think it was the best dinner I have ever made hands down. Everything was just perfect. We did go to his families house for about an hour but had to leave because his cousin was on his way and had sick children. We all know, sickness and RSD don't mix. So we came on home and spent a very nice evening together. The RSD was nice enough to ease up for the evening. I had recorded Macy's parade earlier that morning and we watched it while we ate. It was a good day for him. For both of us.

So Thanksgiving came and went, the snow started rolling in and the pain started getting more severe. He spends a little more time resting, dozing in and out, which tells me he isnt sleeping again. He told me the other day how sorry he was he has RSD. I told him it wasn't his fault or under his control, I married him for better or for worse and I am just fine taking the worse times too. We will get through everything together, just like we have for the past 14 years. Still, he was upset he couldn't shovel the snow off the walkway to the garage for me.

We put up our Christmas tree! Well, I put it up. He did go to pick it out with me. I got it off the top of the van and dragged it onto the porch where he helped knock the snow off of it. Then he helped me get it into the stand. Normally he helps me decorate the tree. Its sort of like "our thing". He loves Christmas as much as I do. We are both Christmas fanatics. But this year is so different from ones of the past. I can tell he is somewhat depressed. He didn't help with the decorating of the tree. He did help me put up some lights on the archway in the living room by holding the ladder so I could put in some nails. But he didn't help go through the ornaments this year at all. Didn't seem interested in telling me if I had the lights evenly arranged on the tree. I didn't even get all the ornaments on it because I didn't have the help I normally do. After I got it decorated I went in the other room and I cried. It is like I am alone sometimes. He is in a different world these days trying to fight a battle that I am unable to help with.

So right now we are on the couch, I'm blogging and he is desperately trying to stay awake and failing miserably. I tried to get him to go lay down on the bed and take a nap, but he refused, telling me that he wasn't tired. Right now he is doing what I call "the duck". His head bobbing when he dozes out like a duck dipping under the water. He just had a really big tremor just now. It startled me even.

I hate RSD. I hate the way it is changing our lives. I hate the way it is taking over. I hate that anyone has to live with having RSD. I know he has it rough but I also can't help thinking of others who have this and what they have to deal with day to day.

I finally talked him into laying down on the bed so I'm going to help him get settled now. My heart goes out to everyone, here's to having a pain free day!

Busy busy busy!

I have been pretty busy around here the last couple of days. Dennis is still having a pretty hard time. His toe is still very red, swollen and infected but I think it might be looking a little bit better now. I have to get him a soak here in a few minutes. I had to run all over today trying to get the plates on the car changed and my drivers license changed today. Then I ran to the store and picked up the last few things I need to make Thanksgiving dinner. I wasn't sure if I would make it this year seeing as the RSD takes such a toll on him and we aren't going to be with all the family this year.

Oh I mentioned the other day that he had kept me awake with jerking, twitching and tremors with moaning. That went on for 3 days and then I had 2 choices. I could either take something to make me sleep through it or I could sleep on the couch. I hate sleeping on the couch so I took something to help me sleep. I feel so bad for him. I know he hurts all the time and I cant do anything for him. My heart goes out to anyone who has this horrible condition.

Alright, I'm going to get into my pj's and settle onto the couch and spend some time with him since he is feeling up to it. Take care and have another pain free day!