Long time since posting!

Well so much has gone on. My mother had a stroke in mid January and I ended up having to leave him at home alone so I could go take care of my mother. That was scary. Luckily we had a lot of family who filled in for me while I was away.

Lets see, since I posted last he has added 5 new medications to the list, 2 of them antidepressants. He has been getting more and more frustrated and depressed and he has been saying things like his life doesnt has any value anymore etc. So now he is on that and it dose and it seems to be helping. He is still depressed, but its taken the edge off for him for now and helped with the mood swings he was having. He is also taking a medication now for his heart rate and blood pressure and that has tremendously helped him as well.

They upped his dose of pain meds which he says helped a tiny bit, but today he is really having a bad time. I asked him a while ago if he wanted me to take him to the er room but he said he wanted to wait. I keep telling him not to let it get totally out of control because then it will be very hard for them to get him out of pain again, he said if it gets much worse he will let me take him in.

Last night was not good for sleeping. He didn't sleep at all because of the pain. I slept about 3 hours before I woke up to find him watching me sleep. I feel so bad for him. I find myself frustrated and angry that he has to go through this. Its not just affecting our lives, its ruining our lives. We are no longer having sex because the medications have caused him to not be able to achieve erection. He cant take a drug like Viagra because that would mess with his heart rate and blood pressure. RSD is the most cruel thing I have ever had to see before, to experience, to fight. It has taken a man who was active and healthy, who hiked, rode bikes, took walks and destroyed his body, its taken his life from him, its taken the things he loves away from him, its weighed him down and thrown him into a world full of despair and hopelessness. I can only pray that they will one day find a cure for this twisted disease. All the people around the world who suffer with RSD and CRPS and still there is little known about it.

Our hearts and prayers go out to everyone who suffers from this and to all those loved ones and care takers who are inadvertently affected by it. May you all have relief from this one day!