I know it has been a while since the last post and I give my sincere apologies. So much has been going on lately, life has been crazy.
First off let me say that I am so glad I did not allow the er room doctor remove his toenail for that infected toe. The antibiotics have cleared it up totaly and he is able on hsi own to try to get the ingrown part out. His toe looks good again.
He has been having pain control issues. I think I mentioned before they took him off the one morphine to put him on oxycondin so now he takes morphine twice a day and oxycondin 4 times a day. He was having problems urinating and thats why the change came about. The change in medication has helped his urination problems but the oxycondin does not control the pain like the morphine did. So his doctor upped the dosage of the oxycondin to twice the amount he was taking. That has helped him some but he still isnt sleeping well, he's keeping me awake because he is in pain and on more than one occasion I have woke up in the middle of the night to hear him crying in his sleep or due to his tossing and turning because he just can't get comfortable. The days seem to keep getting longer and longer for him. I feel so useless because I can't help him...
He has been having problems with his memory. It started back when he injured himself with all the medications but it has been getting progressively worse in the last few weeks. He told me the other night that it scares him because some of the things he can't remember are things that he has known his whole life and shouldn't be a problem for him to remember. I have been looking for some memory exercises online to maybe help that aspect but I haven't found anything fitting. If anyone knows of a site that is good for memory building please let us know.
Alright, on to other things. We made it through Thanksgiving. I really outdid myself this year on dinner and I have to say I think it was the best dinner I have ever made hands down. Everything was just perfect. We did go to his families house for about an hour but had to leave because his cousin was on his way and had sick children. We all know, sickness and RSD don't mix. So we came on home and spent a very nice evening together. The RSD was nice enough to ease up for the evening. I had recorded Macy's parade earlier that morning and we watched it while we ate. It was a good day for him. For both of us.
So Thanksgiving came and went, the snow started rolling in and the pain started getting more severe. He spends a little more time resting, dozing in and out, which tells me he isnt sleeping again. He told me the other day how sorry he was he has RSD. I told him it wasn't his fault or under his control, I married him for better or for worse and I am just fine taking the worse times too. We will get through everything together, just like we have for the past 14 years. Still, he was upset he couldn't shovel the snow off the walkway to the garage for me.
We put up our Christmas tree! Well, I put it up. He did go to pick it out with me. I got it off the top of the van and dragged it onto the porch where he helped knock the snow off of it. Then he helped me get it into the stand. Normally he helps me decorate the tree. Its sort of like "our thing". He loves Christmas as much as I do. We are both Christmas fanatics. But this year is so different from ones of the past. I can tell he is somewhat depressed. He didn't help with the decorating of the tree. He did help me put up some lights on the archway in the living room by holding the ladder so I could put in some nails. But he didn't help go through the ornaments this year at all. Didn't seem interested in telling me if I had the lights evenly arranged on the tree. I didn't even get all the ornaments on it because I didn't have the help I normally do. After I got it decorated I went in the other room and I cried. It is like I am alone sometimes. He is in a different world these days trying to fight a battle that I am unable to help with.
So right now we are on the couch, I'm blogging and he is desperately trying to stay awake and failing miserably. I tried to get him to go lay down on the bed and take a nap, but he refused, telling me that he wasn't tired. Right now he is doing what I call "the duck". His head bobbing when he dozes out like a duck dipping under the water. He just had a really big tremor just now. It startled me even.
I hate RSD. I hate the way it is changing our lives. I hate the way it is taking over. I hate that anyone has to live with having RSD. I know he has it rough but I also can't help thinking of others who have this and what they have to deal with day to day.
I finally talked him into laying down on the bed so I'm going to help him get settled now. My heart goes out to everyone, here's to having a pain free day!
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